Thursday, August 27, 2009
for my 17th birthday,
i had flu and a fever,
causing headaches and a sore throat.
dear God,
i felt angry because you punished me,
and i cant seem to find a reason why.
dear God,
it may have been because i break fast outside,
when my mother actually didnt allow it.
it was mostly my fault,
but i know partly it wasn't.
i know my mother bought lots of stuff for yesterday's break fast at home,
but still i froze my heart and forget how much has been put in for me.
and i break fast at macdonalds, and had fun the whole night,
when i should go for night prayers.
dear God,
now i just finished bathing.
i thought of what will happen today,
and i tried not to cry,
because crying would just be a waste of effort.
dear God,
wanna know what i thought of?
before goin into the bathroom i saw the cake in the fridge.
i saw it.
seriously, its there.
and i imagined,
break fast today at home
all 5 of them there but 1,
me.
and i imagined,
my mother ready to cut the cake,
but the birthday boy isn't there.
and then they all kept quiet.
and imagined i was there.
and shared the cake.
dear God,
if i stayed at home to cut the cake,
i imagined,
my friends are waiting for me,
ready to surprise me,
and they kept on waiting,
but i didn't come.
they planned it all so hard,
but the person did not turn up.
dear God,
my cough now is getting worse,
i dont know what to do.
tell me what i should do.
dear God,
help me,
please.
Jamal Rad at 5:34 PM