Lalala~

2010-03-22T20:36:00.000+08:00

I FUCKIN HAD ONLY 3 HOURS OF SLEEP TODAY
AND SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS DAM FUNNY TO PRANK CALL ME AT THIS TIME
ONCE IS OK BUT THE SECOND TIME
OMG WHEN WILL YOU STOP
AND ITS LIKE YOU DIDNT EVEN CALL ME DIRECTLY
AND THEN SOMEONE CALL ME EARLIER ABOUT SOME FRIEND OF MINE HAVING PROBLEMS
NOW I FUCKING DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST

2010-02-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

i did the most stupidest thing ,
and its the most regretful decision ever .

2010-01-14T21:57:00.001+08:00

moved ?
=D

2010-01-10T18:48:00.002+08:00

oh ok yeah .
so its always my fault luh .
its always me .
im the reason this stupid world is made .
everythin is my fault .

yr always right .
its always you .
i mean like ,
what am i saying ,
top dunno what number in the whole course leh .
must respect luh .
what am i anyway , right ?

2010-01-07T07:21:00.000+08:00

sometimes ,
i just think back and thought i shouldn't react that way .
i wish i could just turned back time and did what i usually do in an anger situation ,
keep it to myself and act as if nothin happened .

but the more i did that ,
the more people would wanna take advantage of it .
so i thought carefully ,
and blamed myself again ,
that i will not ever do that again .

2010-01-05T20:26:00.001+08:00

well today ended up fun ,
when we played soccer outside the lab ,
and laughed like shit uh .
zul kicked the ball so hard and expected it to break the door we made as the goal post ,
instead it bounced back and hit nas right and his .. hehe
and then everyone literally rofl-ed.

it was really fun luh ,
since it was the best people of the class .
unlike some other people .
not many , in fact theres only one in particular .

well , everyone knows hes dam irritating .
i dont know for what reason .
in class he just say ' shut the fuck up'
everything he says must have vulgarities .
and i dont know for what reason ,
whether he dogged people and think its cool ,
or he wanted attention ,
and i dont know for what reason ,
since our class was almost all guys .

and then comes the disturbing part .
i admit i disturb him a few times ,
and then he had to react so ,
i-dunno-how-to-explain-ly ,
and just got up from his seat ,
AND POKE PEOPLE .
HAHA WHAT A FUCKIN JOKE .
POKING , POKE POKE POKE .
HAHAHA .
lame fuckface .
i didnt even touch him to make him react this way luh .

and my class would know well ,
he disturbs people for no reason and other people just find it really really irritating .
so they disturb him back for no reason also luh .
AND HE HAD TO REACT BY SPAMMING PEOPLE FACEBOOK .
WALAO EH , WHY DUN WAN CONFRONT ?
LAI LOR .
CCB , GO FIND OUT WHO REALLY DID IT FIRST LA KNN .
ANY FUCKER CAN JUST PUT THE BLAME ON ME WHEN ITS HIM .
AND WHAT , I ACT CUTE ?
YOU MUM ACT CUTE LA .

i really hate to say this but its really you ,
and , please dont apologise .
i hate false apologies .

i've made my point well ,
how bout you ?
oh wait , say sorry to yr mum first .
tell her yr really sorry you disgraced the family
you dont know the real me , so please dont act like you do

2010-01-05T09:02:00.001+08:00

sudah puasku
mencintaimu

2009-12-30T08:25:00.000+08:00

countdown to my doomsday : 7h 30min .
ugh .
good luck to me

2009-12-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

its back to the same feeling again ,
the EXACT same feeling 4 weeks ago ,
on the exact same day of the week .
because tmr is cds day , where i have to present my lame speech ,
which i do not want to do ,
and i thought by not goin for class 4 weeks ago ,
i can escape it .
but i was wrong ..

so ,
what is it that im afraid of .
well is pretty obvious .
i cant talk to strangers ,
especially a room full of them .
despite being with my cds class for almost a month ,
most of my classmates are just , strange .

so then the subject is called public speaking ,
which was interesting i thought at first .
and i ingeniusly had the idea that ,
since it will help me in some part of my life , why not try it as a good experience .
but now i realised i was wrong .
i had made the most terrible decision in life .
ugh .
and now i regretted .
but its no use since its like half way through the semester .
i guess its really not me to speak in front of people .
just throw me to a crowd of strangers ,
i'll refuse to talk ,
not that i dont want to , i just can't .

oh well .
at least no one can say i didn't try .
all i can do now is find the problem to this fear , if i can .
because its like finding the problem to why people are scared of ghosts .
maybe its the people in the class ,
like girls .

seriously , im really not comfortable with them around .
its like , we have to mind what we speak .
say the wrong thing and they'll hate you for life ,
or have a different impression of you .
thats my next biggest fear i guess .
these creatures are really scary to be with .
some of them really look like they are gonna eat you up luh .
seriously , just look and those mouthwatering lips ,
ready to gobble you up .
and those sharp eyes looking and observing , waiting to spot the wrong move you made .
then those fierce looking fake eyebrows ,
and sharp teeth ,
and pointy ears ,
and long pointy nose ,
and scary fingernails ,
and ..
lol . i went from reality to witches and vampires .

whatever .
i just wish one of them would suck my blood dry , tonight .
im bored of life .
im tired of sitting in front of the computer as my life fades away .
im tired of being afraid of what people will think of me each step i take out of the house .
im tired of letting people bully me in class and just smile and act as if nothing happened .
im tired of playing dota and then after each game the winner gets to taunt the loser till you got nothing back to say .
im tired of goin to school just to make parents happy .

and so when yr tired ,
maybe some sleep will help rest your thoughts ,
as you dream of the things that are impossible in life ,
like being with a girl beside you , watching the sunset , feeling her heartbeat , holding her hand with her head resting on your shoulder .
yeah , impossibles the word .

2009-12-22T13:20:00.003+08:00

tough

2009-12-20T07:26:00.000+08:00

i got a wedding i have to attend to ,
and i have no idea why luh .
what are 3G phones for ?

2009-12-01T20:16:00.002+08:00

i got presentation tmr and..
i havent even prepared a single shit .
shit, help !

2009-11-25T22:31:00.001+08:00

seven years ..
you assured me..

2009-11-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

somehow i feel the need to go to the airport .
lol

2009-11-18T20:35:00.001+08:00

woot .
i think i did well for my speech .
i think luh ..

2009-11-17T07:45:00.002+08:00

omg its only tuesday and im alrdy so darn tired .
argh !

2009-11-16T08:44:00.001+08:00

hey its monday already !
i cant wait for schoool

2009-11-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

im starting to hate school .
and tmr too .
it'll be really sad if we fail

2009-11-11T06:43:00.002+08:00

my hair is not being friendly to me ..
lol

2009-11-04T22:46:00.001+08:00

its been awhile since i had a good conversation .
thanks =)

my tongue is still burnt

2009-11-04T06:33:00.000+08:00

jadi selepas aku membantu engkau dalam masa kesusahan engkau ,
aku dinamakan sebagai seorang extra yang sibuk je masuk campur dalam hal engkau ..
sigh

2009-11-02T08:53:00.001+08:00

i got no motivation for school

2009-10-28T21:28:00.001+08:00

sigh .
even though nth much happened ,
it still sucks

2009-10-26T18:52:00.001+08:00

you got feelings ,
i got feelings too .

2009-10-26T09:08:00.000+08:00

so yeah ,
i think now im suppose to care for you right ?
im suppose to be eactly like your fucking shadow ,
doin everything for you ,
following your around ,
and making sure that no one thought i even existed .

im really sry i forgot all about it .

2009-10-26T08:59:00.001+08:00

oh ,
so thats how it is huh .
you push me hard , do all the fucked up things and like ,
im suppose to just chill and get over it .

then when i try to push you its as if ,
no im not suppose to bcos yr better than me .
so thats how it is ,
and , is that how life goes ?

ok then , sry .
im sry im all so ugly and stuff and yr the hot stuff .
im really sry my mum accidentally gave birth to this .. to me .
im really sry i always stood in your way by just being in class .
im really sry im even alive to be your friend .
so yeah , seriously , im sry .
really , if i were to take a pic of myself now ..

2009-10-21T19:40:00.001+08:00

that was the worse 3rd day of school ever .
i made my long way bck home after alighting at the interchange ,
thinking ,
why why why .
why am i so lousy .

and then i just kept thinking ..
till suddenly it teared up ..

go ahead , laugh
i suck at life

2009-10-19T06:46:00.001+08:00

schoool

....

2009-10-15T03:11:00.001+08:00

i got a new shoe okay .
muahahaha .
to ensure it doesnt get dirty ,
i'll need to laminate it .
but before it ,
i'll need to foil it too ,
to ensure sunlight doesnt spoil the colour .
then when i get home ,
im gonna put it beside my bed ,
so no one can even think about touching it .

hehe

2009-10-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

im really bored but ,
i dont wanna spend my money

2009-10-09T22:35:00.001+08:00

i quit .
it sucks man , i trained and trained my stupid char , and my com died on me without me saving yet .
sigh .

2009-10-09T00:09:00.001+08:00

lies

2009-10-07T00:05:00.001+08:00

i'll myob from now on then

2009-10-06T23:31:00.001+08:00

yayay .
45 bucks richer !
muahaha

2009-10-05T07:19:00.001+08:00

bermula dengan senyuman ,
menjadi daya tarikan ..

2009-09-30T15:25:00.001+08:00

im sure plenty can replace

2009-09-29T00:57:00.001+08:00

no mood to even sleep .

2009-09-28T23:20:00.001+08:00

i might just stay at home ,
for a week or so

2009-09-26T00:02:00.002+08:00

shiet .
i just remembered i got camp on monday .
SHIET !!

2009-09-25T00:17:00.001+08:00

bored sia

2009-09-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

what makes me happy is when people around me are happy .
and right now i'm kind of happy with myself for cheering a friend of mine up .
hahas .
love is hard luh .
trust me , i know how you feel .

2009-09-16T23:10:00.002+08:00

freaked out .
oh yeahs , i'll be back on fb real soon , i hope .
and i do a proper post soon too , cos im too busy now .
=/

2009-09-15T22:51:00.001+08:00

even though its none of my business ,
i can feel how hurt she was .

2009-09-15T00:21:00.002+08:00

ughh.
shagged

2009-09-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

obsession.

2009-09-11T17:01:00.000+08:00

phew my result..

2009-09-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

i dunno why these days i have been playing alot of rpg,
till i forget what day it is.
i can go up to more than 24 hours non-stop in front of the com,
and then next thing i know my mother is nagging me to do somethin better,
like PRAY.
ugh
i should tell her i'll pray if i get money.
hahaha
but in the end i wont pray either
cos gaming has higher priority.
lol

2009-09-08T04:30:00.000+08:00

lol sia
mr stoneman123 aka wenqiang just came up with somethin funny,
hahaha.
as he was irritated and hanafi, he didnt say 'fuck you hnf fucking fucker'
instead, he said' NOOBFISHCAKE LA HNF'
which was really funny luh,
cos i just realised hanafi looks just like a piece of fish cake in real life.
hahaha
then he came up with something else,
he said 'go sleep la fish cake, i find life partner for you, fishball'
LOL
take that hnf!

2009-09-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

gosh,
i kind of lost track of time.
what date is it today?

2009-09-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

omgg.
i just realise my cheeks seems to be really chubby,
or fat luh
they say if its chubby means you were once really fat,
but, i have never ever been fat before!
and now what i fear most is,
my cheeks will grow fatter and fatter,
and then they just sag,
and i look like a bulldog.
ughh.

perangai peh anak

2009-09-05T22:06:00.001+08:00

eh boy
lu punya mulut boleh tutup dalam dalam eh.
lu anak sapa
nnb

2009-09-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

ehk budak ni aku tau berangan nak mampos sia.
masuk kubur baru berangan lah eh

2009-09-05T00:36:00.002+08:00

dam i feel so guilty right now,
because of the lan outing.
like, faris got scolded from me for just a little minor thing uh.
dam, i feel very very bad.
and then i used athe cheats and all,
i just spoiled everythin.

now instead of 'may the best player win',
its like, 'may the best cheater.. erm.. cheat?'

sry guys

2009-09-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

heres a story about the 'kain' most lazy guys wear to prayers.
and why you shouldn't wear it.

first one,
a short introduction about the kain,
it looks like the long skirts but very thin material.
but usually guys wear it luh,
and since guys wear it,
hehe
other small naughty boys can just run up to them can pull their kains up.
hahaha
it was dam funny luh.

second one,
small naughty boys play hide and seek,
and they cant find a place to hide!
omg
best place would be..
under the kains!
hahaha
next thing to wonder about is what they will be doing..
hehe

third one,
this one doesn't involve small naughty boys.
it involves ppl like me luh,
big and naughty!
lol
beside me was 1 guy wearing the kain luh,
then he like,
took up so much space luh.
so..
when he wanted to stand up
i just stepped on his kain and oops,
it all slipped.
and holy!
i saw his grey ugly fat undies.

serves him right uh.
oh ya,
and all these events happened during prayers.
so i hadd to control my laughter.
haha

somehow i want a job,
but i got lots to do at home.
=/
my father asked me to varnish any wood that i can find in the house,
and today i actually did it!
and i was proud,
even thought it was just 1 chair,
its still hard work.
i think at this rate by hari raya i can finish the whole house
yay

2009-09-02T00:46:00.001+08:00

tired seh.
should i find job or not..
=/

2009-08-31T05:49:00.000+08:00

baybeats was awwweesome man.
lol
but the cleaning part is so not.
hahaha

2009-08-29T23:11:00.001+08:00

i miss facebook..
=(

2009-08-28T02:57:00.000+08:00

sigh.
i have been banned from facebook.
but thats okay.
im too hot for facebook..
LOL

oh and thanks for the pillow uh.
i cant stop hugging it and fantasizing.
it has that.. fahmi and lutfi feeeeeeling.
hehehe

2009-08-27T23:22:00.000+08:00

dear God,
thanks for making today such a nice one.
never will i forget how you made my 17th birthday the best one in my life.

and i got the bestest best friends anyone can ever have.
i met up with bryan kamran fahmi lutfi burhan hisyam wenqiang galindo farhan and faris!
omg, even faris turned up.
haha.

they had a late dinner at bbq chicken,
and i got a cake
a present from lutfi and fahmi
and a birthday song from the rest of them!
dam i was so touched.
=')

and right now my sickness has been reduced to just a flu.
lets hope i get well for tmr.

2009-08-27T17:34:00.001+08:00

for my 17th birthday,
i had flu and a fever,
causing headaches and a sore throat.

dear God,
i felt angry because you punished me,
and i cant seem to find a reason why.

dear God,
it may have been because i break fast outside,
when my mother actually didnt allow it.
it was mostly my fault,
but i know partly it wasn't.
i know my mother bought lots of stuff for yesterday's break fast at home,
but still i froze my heart and forget how much has been put in for me.
and i break fast at macdonalds, and had fun the whole night,
when i should go for night prayers.

dear God,
now i just finished bathing.
i thought of what will happen today,
and i tried not to cry,
because crying would just be a waste of effort.

dear God,
wanna know what i thought of?
before goin into the bathroom i saw the cake in the fridge.
i saw it.
seriously, its there.
and i imagined,
break fast today at home
all 5 of them there but 1,
me.
and i imagined,
my mother ready to cut the cake,
but the birthday boy isn't there.
and then they all kept quiet.
and imagined i was there.
and shared the cake.

dear God,
if i stayed at home to cut the cake,
i imagined,
my friends are waiting for me,
ready to surprise me,
and they kept on waiting,
but i didn't come.
they planned it all so hard,
but the person did not turn up.

dear God,
my cough now is getting worse,
i dont know what to do.
tell me what i should do.

dear God,
help me,
please.

2009-08-27T17:27:00.000+08:00

2009-08-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

2009-08-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

for my 17th birthday,
i had flu and a fever,
causing headaches and a sore throat.

dear God,
i felt angry because you punished me.
and i cant seem to find a reason why.

2009-08-27T15:44:00.001+08:00

for my 17th birthday,
i had flu and a fever,
causing headaches and a sore throat.

i want to go out laaaaa.

2009-08-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

woohoo.
officially seventeen.
12 on the dot i was spammed by messages fb emails and calls.
wheee~
haha

and my first birthday wish was..
a sorethroat.
=(

2009-08-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

just a few more minutes..
i cant wait.
theres like so many questions running in my mind.

what will it feel like to be 17?
what will i get for my 17th birthday?
how am i gonna celebrate my 17th birthday?
what part of my body will change for my 17th birthday?
what will i think will change for my 17th birthday?
am i 17 again?
will i be 17 forever?
how long will i be 17?
is being 17 gonna be fun?
must i grow up?
or can i grow down?
or roll down?
jump down?
fall down?
up down?
left right?

lol.
too many questions,
too little time.
im sooo exxxcited.
haha

2009-08-26T23:36:00.000+08:00

yes ar.
happy 2nd aniversary to my blog!
lol

i'll still be faithful despite blogger hating me.

2009-08-23T23:22:00.001+08:00

or maybe its just that i think haven't done much as a friend.

2009-08-23T01:12:00.002+08:00

somehow i hate this exam lifestyle,
this stay at home help yr parents lifestyle,
this rest while you fast at home lifestyle.

im trapped,
caged,
tortured,
hurt,
broke,
and really really sad,
for neglecting my friends,
my hygiene,
and my heart.

how i wish to be free,
and return to my flock.

2009-08-22T01:30:00.002+08:00

woohoo
happy bday to MY Demi Lovato.
im 2 days late lol

and happy fasting ppl.
dont go for night prayers.
it sucks, real bad.
i had to pray right on the doorstep of the toilet,
and, yeah.
you guys know what i have to settle,
face to face.
ugh

2009-08-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

today is the start of study week and i had to go to school
because of my stupid ept circuit.
ugh

and i ended up studying at 201 mac

2009-08-17T11:32:00.001+08:00

oh darn.
i need to change my mindset

2009-08-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

happy birthday farhan!
haha.
my best collegue.
and im not too late to wish you too.

speaking of birthdays,
i dont think im gonna have a happy seventeenth

2009-08-15T18:59:00.001+08:00

in the end i failed.

sey i couldnt come today.
i wish i could,
but i cant

2009-08-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

well im starting to pick myself up from these bad times.
slowly i will

2009-08-14T10:08:00.000+08:00

i feel guilty not comin to school today,
not handing up ept worth 60 marks,
and not going for tpsc sub comm camp for the september holidays.

and whats worse i'll have to think up of a long post so i don't feel as if someone was referring bad stuff about me.

hmm..
thats all i can think of i guess.
at least i'll try to update everyday

2009-08-13T22:50:00.000+08:00

oh come on..
no use breaking a broken heart

2009-08-13T09:42:00.001+08:00

='(
blogger seems to hate me.

2009-08-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

well 'Up' was quite a touching sad story,
but it cant match up to my level of sadness.

2009-08-12T10:50:00.001+08:00

im in school now,
having a 4 hour break,
while slowly waiting for my heart to bleed to death

2009-08-12T07:30:00.001+08:00

then again..
someone just made it worse

2009-08-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

you know the holidays are comin up,
i dont wanna spend them alone..
=(

2009-08-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

dam oh dam.
whhy oh why.

i suck at this..
and now i just feel like pulling my hair off

2009-08-11T18:46:00.001+08:00

i should be happy wrtoral has come to an end.
but i still have no idea why i have so much sadness in me..

2009-08-10T00:37:00.001+08:00

anyone knows how to cure a broken heart?

2009-08-10T00:34:00.001+08:00

i have no idea why,
but im really very sad now.
pls dont ask why.

2009-08-10T00:20:00.002+08:00

hmm.
this blog's dead i guess.
watvr.
at least i wont have much of unwanted readers anymore.

it always saddens me when i realise its too late to make a move..
oh well,
there other much better fish out in the sea..
=/

fishy fish,
out in the sea.
swim fast,
and come to me..

2009-07-29T00:49:00.001+08:00

buat bdh sua eh..

2009-07-08T23:23:00.003+08:00

everybody loves prom as its a time of celebration,
where you can wear yr best shirt possible.

but its a nightmare for me,
when people have to use overly thick make-ups on their faces,
as if its some post halloween gathering.

oh dear,
due to the shock,
i have those kind of faces too,
without make up,
and not literally..

2009-07-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

oh wow
blogger's really f-ed up

2009-06-25T10:14:00.000+08:00

should i really really cut it all away..?

help!

2009-06-20T08:40:00.002+08:00

grouchy.

theres just somethings,

or alot of things,

that just cant get off my head.

and a little spark that disturbs it

will send me moshing all over in my seat,

while dota-ing.

2009-06-07T22:36:00.000+08:00

and tmr i'll be off,
to a far away land,
far far away from here.
far enough from reality

2009-06-05T21:23:00.002+08:00

today
was a very proud day for me cos,
i went for prayers!
ahaha
but i felt weird and all,
cos everyone seemed to stare at me as if the devil starts praying.
=/

then met luqman hanafi wenqiang and bryan.
to watch monster vs aliens
seriously, its a dam funny movie.
but i was scared luh,
insectasaur reminds me of childhood nightmares.
haha

2009-05-24T22:12:00.001+08:00

today i fell ill.

only for about 8 hours luh.

around there.

and seriously, i felt that

i rather die than suffer.

the pain and agony..

but its ok.

i feel much better now

2009-05-23T18:34:00.002+08:00

this is me.

behind me on the furthest right side of this picture is hanafi.

beside him is wenqiang,

and the one in red is dance kevin dance.

haha

and the hand belongs to reza,

the really really weird guy who craves for food every minute,

till there was one time we thought he got lost,

when actually he went to buy some food -.-

2009-05-20T23:16:00.002+08:00

todays class really turned out well.
everyone had fun,
well, at least i did.
from the stress in school.

patience is a virtue,
but too much patience isnt that virtue-ish.
i should've limit patience
before anyone takes advantage of me.

=/

2009-05-17T02:10:00.000+08:00

anythin that starts with L,

kinda sucks too.

except for lutfi uh.

haha

2009-05-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

*gasp

apparently i realised i have been forgotten,

once again..

2009-05-14T22:44:00.002+08:00

today a bunch of matreps,

that appears to not be from tp

passedby me while i was cca-ing.

and before they left they shouted 'kimak tu lelaki ke pompuan siak!'

which in literal translation means, 'mother * that one guy or girl sia'